Monday, March 9, 2009

Wishing for a sister

I was born the oldest of four children and also the only girl. I knew by the time I was four years old what my role in the family was to be. The babysitter and caretaker of two mischevious boys and later on a third. I never resented the responsibility as my brothers were good kids and never really caused problems. However I used to dream about how wonderful it would be to have a sister. When my third brother was born ten years after I was I used to pray that he would be a girl so that I would have a sister that I could dress up cuddle up to and spoil. Needless to say that did not happen.
I love my brothers dearly but a sister would have been so wonderful. Being the only girl I always had my own room and my brothers had to share a room and I used to listen to them at night pillow fighting, laughing and just generally having a good time and I remember being so jealous.
Through the years during difficult times in my life I longed for a sister to share some of my burdens with or just to have her around to talk and share common experiences with.
I do have two brother with whom I have close relationships with and can talk to them about some family issues but I have found that I am not always comfortable in doing so.
Maybe if I would have had a sister our relationship would not have been as I have dreamed it would be but just knowing she was there would be a comfort

10 comments:

the walking man said...

MB...I have two sisters and I remember not the pillow fights but rather the constant cat fights when they were teenagers. But then what the hell do I know I don't really have much concourse with my siblings, haven't for decades.

jmsjoin said...

Hi Minnesota
I think it is normal to miss what you never had but thankfully you do have a daughter! Hope all is well with you!

Natalie said...

Growing up I wanted a sister too. It took me about 20 years, but I finally got one! In retrospect, I don't think I would have handled sharing my mother very well with anyone, let alone another girl. I love the relationship I have with Emma now, she lets me be goofy and young again without all the competition.

But like an average patriot said, I think it's common to long for what you don't have, especially going through a grieving process as we say good bye to the person grandma was and accept this new phase of her life. Luckily you have daughters you are close with too, they can be excellent listeners!

Lori said...

i understand what you are saying. i never had a sister. Remember the book Little Women? I read that over and over as a girl, and I was so envious of these "litte women" who were so close. I think a good lifelong female friend can fill the role of a sister in many ways. Like previous commenters, we always long for what we have never had. 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Lori said...

MB,

I apologize for the fffff's. I actually fell asleep at the keyboard last night, as I am sure you figured out. I come home from work at night, and lately I have been falling asleep at my computer chair. *embarassed*.

Minnesotablue said...

Walkingman: Ya, I do remember a few fights with my brothers
Patriot: Maybe if I would have had sister we would have fought also
Natalie: I'm happy that you and Emma have a good relationship
Lori: I did read Little women but I have mostly forgot about it. How cute, falling asleep at the computer. I find myself falling asleep while I read, even if I am reading in the bathtub!

Lori said...

The lullabye of words. It works like a charm everytime..LOL..

Unknown said...

Hi, Minn

I can relate. You know how some kids make up imaginary friends? I made up an imaginary sister. I have one brother, five years older who was not (still isn't) very loving or supportive. My imaginary sister was his age and totally devoted to me. She would play with me and read to me and take care of me and take me places.

When I outgrew that, I still longed for a sister. When I met my partner and learned he has a sister, I was really hoping we could become close but alas she has serious problems and isolates herself and is really not able to have a normal relationship with anyone. Very disappointing.

My best friend is like a sister to me but she has her own sister to whom she is very close. Still, I'm very lucky to have her, as I truly love her like I would a sister.

Oh and Little Women. I read that about two dozen times when I was a kid.

Sending you love and good wishes,
Gina

Lori said...

MB,

Just checking in to see if all is well in your world. I stop by periodically to see if any new posts are up. I enjoy what you write and the way you express your thoughts. Just wanted you to know that people are thinking about you and your words are missed. Sometimes the demands of the real world supercede our free time, so I understand if you don't have time to write. Just be well my friend.

sexy said...
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